in the midst of fun, encounters the cloud of grief and sadness, one that makes you cry.
so i have been let out from my nest a little too much that i took the trust that my parents have for me for granted. well mostly of what they have taught to me when i was little, of what sinful things we may do in life to be dragged to hell. i was aware of that, not until i grow older and wanted to try what other people are trying. i was lost in the fun zone that i have forsaken the trust my parents have given me. the worst is the disappointment, really. as what i have always put high above me is to never disappoint them neither to let them shed tears. what i did was wrong and they ought to be sad about it, it is after all my mistake. what i have missed is the consequences of it, not to me but to my parents. it has caused alot of mental dysfunctionality. honestly saying, i do not regret what i have done, and im actually glad that all of this happen so that one day if i tend to commit it again, i can remind myself of what damage i have done to my mother's heart and my father's trust. it is terrible, of what i did. therefore i would like to make it better, well i can, i will it is just the matter of their trust on me and how they are going to see me. im scared to ever lose them. all my life has been about them, to make them happy and proud. of what i did was a systematic error that is making life harder and wasteful. like i said, i do not regret, just that i hope it can go the other way around, much differently.