enlightenment

i've seen lives in jeopardy throughout my life. accident, robbery, suicide, sickness and so the list goes on. it is heartbreaking to know that a soul can be taken soo easily, a life can been seen in a pair of eyes and the next second it might be gone, taken away to a distance we dont know, an era of the hereafter soo strange to us human. the hereafter is a scary place, not something that i dare to imagine but definitely something that i have been reminding myself with.

i admit life has been challenging, there are obstacles to overcome. there are lust, anger, dream and accomplishment. not everything in life that we do is appealing, there are risks to take. what i witnessed in life is somehow amusing, i have seen my parents bringing up the family, my siblings adapting to the stages of life, my friends overcoming the big challenges and the people around me crypting success and failure. its empowering to say that life is amazing if you think of the both sides of it. sometimes you are clouded by darkness because of some random mistakes but never take it along with you. it is just something you have to be brave about, to stand up to and take smart steps forward. life is not about mourning and crying. life is about living for what we believe presently and futurely. so i believe.

i have met and lost many people along my journey in life, none that i have regretted. all very heart lightening. i believe in appreciation, so as i walk alongside the forsaken life, i took in people with care and cherishment. harted is a word rarely to use, because karma is arousing. for what i believe. it has been haunting my life with the same ecstatic sound of the jungle so rare and exotic.

so my life has been much of a journey, a walk through understanding life. i am scared of losing, very much that i put my family soo close to my heart alongside others who are important to me. so when you come into my life, you live nowhere but near to mt heart. no matter what, i never lie.

muhammad faiz

there are always two sides in every story and i believe you should know mine.
knowing you is a pleasure especially when it comes to kindness and care. you brought me into your life with your serene words and i am grateful that i know you. im sorry that it has to be an option.
just so you know, i dont compare, i never do. you are great as you are. just as how you treated me. thanks for coming into my life, for supporting when everyone else bails. i am thankful for at least knowing you in a very short duration, i hope we can be friends for a little longer. please.

so some people has their own way of managing things. yeah, so do i.
i admit its very easy for me to fall in love. soo easy that i caught myself entangling with the surpress of words quoted by the guy. i mean, who am i to trust him. what is real, what is not, what do i know? it always caught me off guard, getting wayy too fast in a relationship. it spoils everything. seriously. so what is actually happening now, i myself dare not say anything. for what is real, im scared to devote myself.

twin towers

so i watched this biography on tun mahathir this evening. i realized that our country is not that developed. i mean, when he was the prime minister, we can see the twin towers and putrajaya built. but now, what achievement has we accomplished? not to condemn but it just opened up my eyes that if we did not have mahathir, we would be left behind maybe worst than india. imagine our development would be really slow and we might not be known globally. like him, he had conferences with the leaders worldwide, he dare to speak up his mind. but what about now? do we still have it. i didnt mean to say something im not sure of, but i want to see development. better than what we have now. i mean, we have to be like the 1st world country, we can accomplish that, we just need to stand together.

temperamental as it is, life has been exciting by days. seriously. especially with spm coming to an end. there are stories to tell and there are pictures to show, i cant wait for it to end.

always on my mind

So my mom and I has been talking. We are quite fortunate to be able to live comfortably in a house with very much love and care. I didn't mean to boast, but its natural, I'm not talking about particularly money, I'm adversing more on the strong family bond we polish everyday with our very action. Honestly speaking, I'm happy that we are one, and certain occasions made me think about losing them. It would be hard, really hard I must say. I don't even know if I'm capable of living without them. They're like my air. Though I'm being really corny here, I just want my family to know how much they're appreciated by me and also for my fellow readers to take note of the importance of a family's relationship.
Quite random as it is, I grew up to witness my father bringing up the family, eventhough he fell a few times, he never with doubt stay there too long. He'll stood up and make us proud. Even now when we're standing stably, he stil gives us the best. Quite frankly, he cherish us with his worldwide knowledge about stuff that can make us really see what a life is beneath all the mankind who now and then surpress their time and diligencies to the political hypocrites. I'm keen about that the most because it made me wants to be like gandhi or maybe even sir luther king who are able to speak their mind despite the hierarchy plotting against them. Indeed I am fond of their courage, and even to my dad's who took as many challenges as he could to raise us all up in an upbringing community with much care.
Nevertheless for my mother who has been really loyal to my father and dedicated to us baby monsters. Yeah that is what I would call us siblings for wanting way too much. My mother has always pampered us with her affection and sometimes even brand new clothes. I know she has been working her ass up bringing us stubborn monsters. But rarely do I see her losing her temper, it must hv been the patience she has been practising all this while. She's a wonderful mother, always trying to fulfill our need.
I just love being taken care like how it is right now, we might have a few shortage here and there but moretheless, its the passion of a family that makes me see that I could never find a better family.

see i have been having this thought,

all my past boyfriends were never serious. it has never lasted for more than a month and a day. i admit wanting to have someone serious, someone who i can celebrate anniversaries with. i have been a loner for far too long, its about time. i just hope who it is to come will make me smile when it rains, shelter me with endless love and affection and most importantly lead me through it all